Rabbit's First Serve
by LassoThatFurry
Summary: Honey - Senpai has become quite fond of Usa - Chan. But what happens when his addiction for Usa - Chan becomes a living nightmare? How will Haruhi and the others cope with Honey - Senpai's psychotic addiction for this adorable stuffed animal? Find out! [I do not own OHSHC whatsoever!]
1. Usa - Chan's First Attempt

**Chapter One: Usa - Chan's First Attempt**

* * *

"HE'S DONE IT AGAIN!"

"Tamaki - Senpai, you need to calm down."

"HOW CAN I CALM DOWN WHEN THAT THING HAS ATTACKED ME!?"

"I think you're overreacting, Tamaki - Senpai. Besides, I highly doubt Usa - Chan could have done that to you."

"BUT IT HAS! THAT THING HAS ACCOMPLISHED IT'S FIRST ATTEMPT AND IT WILL CONTINUE TO SEIZE VICTORY UNTIL I CAN TAKE NO MORE!"

"Suddenly, this dream became a living nightmare." Kyoya embarked with amusement.

Haruhi sighed. "Tamaki - Senpai, you can't blame Usa - chan for your problems. He's just a stuffed animal. Even Honey - Senpai would agree."

"That's because that damn thing hypnotized Honey - Senpai! There is no other explanation!"

Haruhi frowned. "For some reason, what you're telling me right now, seems like a lies.

Tamaki snapped.

He stretched his arms out and grabbed a hold of Haruhi. "Has that thing gotten to you, too, Haruhu?! Is that why you think I'm lying?!"

"Well actually . . . "

"Say no more . . . !" Tamaki - Senpai fell down, but Mori was there to save the day.

"I think Tamaki - Senpai is stepping on a notch . . . " Haruhi implied on the situation.

"I'm actually enjoying it." Kyoya replied.

Mori - Senpai dragged Tamaki to a nearby chair.

"Um, Mori - Senpai."

Mori turned around to find a very suspicious Haruhi in his presence.

"What do you think about Usa - Chan?"

Mori glared at Haruhi for a long time; he spoke when the confidence decided to build up.

"If Honey - Senpai loves Usa - Chan and Usa - Chan loves Honey - Senpai, then there isn't a problem."

Haruhi blinked in confusion. "Then I guess there isn't a problem at all."

"Hold up there, Haruhi." Hikaru jumped in.

"If Honey - Senpai and Usa - Chan's love for each other stimulates a stronger bond . . ." Kaoru began.

" . . . Wouldn't that replace the love Honey - Senpai has for Mori?" Hikaru finished.

Mori - Senpai snapped.

"I mean, think about it. . . ." Kaoru whispered into Haruhi's left ear.

" . . . With their undeniable love for each other . . ." Hikaru whispered into Haruhi's other ear.

" . . . Then there is a possible chance that Honey - Senpai's love for Mori will distinguish because . . ."

Haruhi finished the thought. " . . . Senpai's love for Usa - Chan is more strong than Senpai's love for . . ."

Everyone looked at Mori - Senpai.

"THAT IS ENOUGH!" Tamaki - Senpai became enraged with fury. "THAT RABBIT HAS TAKEN THINGS TOO FAR! HE CAN MESS WITH MORI'S FEELINGS AND BRAINWASH HARUHI TO THINK THAT I AM A LYING . . ."

Haruhi popped in. "I am entitled to ONLY my opinions. . ."

" . . . BUT HE CANNOT MESS WITH, 'The King'!"

Tamaki called in for a small meeting; the others met up with him in no time.

Haruhi scoot next to Kyoya. "You still think this is amusing?"

Kyoya smiled. "Of course. I just can't wait to see what Tamaki - Senpai has in mind for Usa - Chan."

"But how is that possible? Honey - Senpai is very protective of Usa - Chan. Also, he's really skilled in Tae Kwan Doe. How will Tamaki - Senpai surpass such a vigorous obstacle?"

Kyoya looked at Tamaki and the others. They formed into one group and spoke of "Code - 3178: 'Usa - Chan On The Loose'".

He smiled. "That's what I'm waiting for."

* * *

**And That Is The End Of Chapter One. Thanks For Reading. : )**


	2. All About Usa - Chan

**Chapter Two: All About Usa - Chan**

* * *

"Now now, boys, let us all come to our senses. Our customers will arrive soon."

"Let's hope that damn Usa - chan won't ruin my spotlight. I need to satisfy my customers and I don't need that thing messing it up."

"Tamaki - Senpai, you don't know if Usa - Chan even did that to you."

"Where's your proof?"

"Uh . . Well I don't have any proof, but it's common logic and quite precise to say that -"

"Exactly! No proof, no evidence, no nothing!"

"Tama -"

"It's okay, Haruhi. Let Mommy do what she pleases. This is getting quite interesting." Kyoya implied.

Haruhi sighed.

"Daddy, I need help!" Tamaki - senpai yelled.

"Coming, Mommy dear."

Haruhi sighed. "What a joke. Tamaki - senpai has gone out of his mind, the group has gone mad, and Kyoya - senpai doesn't really care. Well, I guess that's normal."

"Seems like Haruhi has gone out of her mind, too." Hikaru whispered.

"Who talks to themselves? Talk about a pyscho." Kaoru whispered back.

Haruhi walked away. "I wonder where Honey - Senpai has been all this time..."

Haruhi crept down the hallway. She reached into her pocket, put in new contacts, then fluffed her hair. She had to make a good impression on her customers, today. Especially since Tamaki - senpai was on a riot.

**~ Flashback ~**

"Think of it this way, Haruhi." Tamaki - Senpai began.

"Huh?"

"Gaining more customers is like a competition. You want to excel in almost everything. By that, I mean trying to impress our young maidens with anything you got. Show loyalty and respect for your customers and remember to ALWAYS . . ."

_**[In Haruhi's Mind]:**_

All this talk. Is it really important? I mean, at least I have customers. I really don't think I need advice. After all, Kyoya and the others were quite impressed that I became natural to my instincts, especially around girls.

" . . . But no pressure, Haruhi. Our main goal at the Host Club is to make our customers happy."

"Thank you, Tamaki - Senpai. I'll make sure to remember that."

Tamaki - Senpai smiled. "Great. Now, come here and give Daddy a hug."

"No way in hell Sempai."

"MOMMY!"

**~End of Flashback~**

Haruhi knocked on Honey - Senpai's dorm. She knew Honey - Senpai hung out in this room, alone. It didn't seem to bother him at all. It seemed odd in a way that Honey - senpai would enjoy the comfort of being alone.

"Honey - senpai, you in there?"

"Oh, Haru - chan! I'll be right out!"

"Well, okay. But, I insist you hurry. Customers are on their way."

"I need to get Usa - chan ready. Hold up a bit, okay?"

"S-sure." Haruhi sat down.

A few minutes passed.

_How much longer?_

"I'm ready Haru - chan!"

Honey - Senpai opened the door and Haruhi was in shock.

"Honey - Senpai, what are you wearing?"

Honey - Senpai was wearing a bunny suit. It was the same replica like Usa - Chan.

"Oh, this? I wanted to match with Usa - Chan! Don't we look cute!?"

Haruhi scratched the back of her head. "I suppose." She paused. She was having second thoughts about Usa - Chan.

_But Usa - Chan couldn't have done that! He's just a stuffed animal!_

Haruhi shook her head. "Come on, Honey - Senpai. We're going be late."

"Let's go." Honey - senpai grabbed Haruhi's hand and pulled her into his direction.

"Honey - Sempai, why are you dressed like that?"

"Because today is all about Usa - Chan."

"Do the others know about it?"

"Nope. But I don't think it really matters. Kyoya is considering Usa - Chan a new host member of the club. He says Usa - Chan attracts many more customers."

_Of course Kyoya would make Usa - chan a new host member. The more customers, the more profit he earns._

"Honey - Senpai, the others -" Haruhi stopped. She thought about what Kyoya said.

_"It's okay Haruhi. Let Mommy do what she pleases. And don't tell Honey - Senpai anything, even if he begs. This is getting quite interesting . . . "_

"Nevermind." Haruhi's voice faltered.

"You sure?" Honey - Senpai grew worried.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Let's go."

This time, Haruhi grabbed his hand and pulled him into her direction.

_Why would Kyoya put Usa - Chan in harm? Why doesn't he want me to tell Honey - Sempai? _

_. . . Could he be a part of the scam?_

* * *

**Thanks for reading! R&R! : )**


	3. Three Usa - Chans?

**Chapter Three: Three Usa - Chans?**

* * *

" . . . need to burn that thing! Burn it!" Tamaki yelled.

"Speak of the devil . . ." Kyoya interrupted.

Honey - Senpai walked in with Usa - Chan.

Hikaru leaned against Tamaki. "Look, Boss. He's wearing a bunny suit."

" . . . Just like his Rabbit, Usa - Chan!" Kaoru's voice cracked.

"Stay calm, boys. The only thing we need to worry about is . . ." Tamaki froze.

Haruhi closed the door shut and looked around the corridor of the room. She wrapped her arms around herself, embarassed of what the others might think.

"H-H-H-HARUHI LOOKS SO CUTE!" Tamaki shrieked. Kaoru and Hikaru noticed, too.

"Looks like Usa - Chan has control over Haruhi, too." Kyoya said.

Haruhi and Honey - Senpai walked down the aisle of the room. Their guests shrilled in excitement as both Hosts walked in bunny costumes.

"SO CUTE!"

Tamaki then grew frustrated. "That damn rabbit! Putting Haruhi in a bunny costume will not change my mind!"

Hikaru sighed. "Let's face it, Boss. Haruhi was right. There is no way Usa - Chan could've done that."  
"He's just a stuffed animal after all." Kaoru added.

"Er . . . "

"Besides, it's only a once in a lifetime that you get to see Haruhi in a bunny suit."

Tamaki's face turned red. "Well, she does look cute . . ."

Haruhi sat down with Honey - Senpai. Half of the guests roamed down the aisle to play, "Tea Party" with Usa - Chan.

"Surprisingly, Usa - Chan is becoming popular with the ladies. He's managed to bring in more customers than we ever had before."

Tamaki flinched. "THAT'S NO FAIR!"

"Looks like the Boss has competition against Usa - Chan." Hikaru and Kaoru laughed.

"But what about my teddy bear!?"

"What about it?" Kyoya asked.

"We could have done the same thing that Honey - Senpai is doing now with his damn rabbit!" Tamaki paused. He looked at Haruhi and began to cry. "And Haruhi would've looked much cuter in a teddy bear suit."

"Well then, I guess you should have thought about that earlier."

Tamaki sighed. Without another word, he marched down the aisle to meet up with Haruhi and the others.


	4. The King's Hate For Usa - Chan

**Chapter Four: The King's Hate For Usa - Chan**

* * *

Tamaki - senpai sat next to Haruhi. He looked at her, then at everyone else.

"Welcome, Tama - chan. You're just in time for the Tea Party." Honey smiled with glee.

"Th - thank you, Honey."

One of the guests poured tea into Tamaki's tea-cup.

"Now, how about some nice delicious cake?" Honey asked the guests.

They all nodded and waited to be served.

"Of course, 'The King' must always have the first serve . . ." Tamaki reached for a piece of cake, but Honey slapped his hand away.

"No, Usa - Chan has to have first serve."

Tamaki gasped. "BUT, I'M 'King' OF THE HOST CLUB! THE KING MUST HAVE HIS FIRST SERVE!"

Haruhi grabbed Tamaki - Senpai's hand. He quickly glanced at her, and she smiled. "Tamaki - Senpai, this Tea Party was especially made for Usa - Chan. You can wait, right?"

Tamaki's face turned red. "I-I guess so."

Honey - Senpai cleared his throat. "For now on, when we have Tea Parties, it's always 'Rabbit's First Serve'." Honey - Senpai declared with cheer.

The guests didn't seem bothered by it, but one was.

Tamaki tugged on Haruhi's arm. "Haruhi . . ."

She looked over to the right. "Yes, Senpai?"

"Is Honey going to do this with every activity we do as a Host Club?"

Haruhi blinked. "Well, he just said it was only for Tea Parties. I highly doubt Honey - Senpai would take it to the next level."

**~ Two Days Later ~**

"HE'S TAKING IT TO THE NEXT LEVEL!"

Hikaru and Kaoru sighed. "Well, ya don't say?"

The Host Club was decked in bunny decorations. Usa - Chan's face was everywhere. It nearly covered the perimeter of the entire room.

"EVEN KYOYA HAS GONE MAD! JUST LOOK AT WHAT HE'S WEARING!"

Kyoya was dressed in a bunny costume as well. He smirked at the fact that Tamaki - Senpai was becoming jealous of Usa - Chan.

He took off his glasses and cleansed the lens as he spoke. "As a Host Club, our job is to please and entertain our guests. Besides, they seem to like it, so there is no problem whatsoever."

"He has a point, Boss." Hikaru said.

Tamaki pulled his hair. "How long is this going to last?"

"For a while." Kyoya replied. "But, if you do get sick and tired of it, Usa - Chan can take your place as 'King' of the Ouran Host Club."

"Actually, that doesn't seem like a problem." Hikaru and Kaoru said at the same time.

"WHAT ARE YOU TWO TALKING ABOUT!?" Tamaki shrieked.

"They don't seem to mind at all. Not even Mori." Kyoya said.

"Mori - Senpai, is that true!?" Tamaki looked at Mori with innocent eyes.

Mori shrugged. "Whatever."

"W - what?"

"It seems like a pretty good idea! Even Usa - Chan agrees, too!" Honey cheered.

"NO NO NO! THIS CAN'T BE!"

"Um, Senpai." Haruhi tugged on Tamaki's sleeve.

Tamaki jumped. He looked behind to find his little Haruhi. "You agree, don't you?"

"What are you talking about?"

"That Usa - Chan would make a better 'King' . . ."

Haruhi shook her head. "No one could replace you, Senpai. You're a great leader for the Ouran Host Club. Well, at least that's what I think . . ."

Tamaki - Senpai blushed. "R-really?"

"I suppose."

Tamaki smiled; he wrapped his arms around Haruhi and hugged her tight. He nuzzled his head against hers. "So cute . . ."

Haruhi sighed. "I should've kept my mouth shut."

Tamaki let go of Haruhi and looked at the others. "Well, there you have it. I am not going to give up my place as 'King'. You guys may say that I do not make a great leader of the Host Club, but Haruhi's opinion is all I need!"

The others looked at each other in confusion.

"Whatever you say, Boss."

Tamaki nodded and then left the room. Haruhi followed behind and left as well.

"So, now what, Kyoya?"

"Yeah, it seems like your plan isn't working. With Haruhi in the way, your plan will never work."

Kyoya smiled. "He'll lose his patience . . . . Eventually."

* * *

**Ah, So Maybe Kyoya Is Behind All Of This. I Don't Know! -Shrugs- ^_^ Hope You Enjoyed This Chapter! Thanks For Reading! :) **


End file.
